While most people are the benign interrupter variety, others are less so. Interrupting when genuinely excited usually begets a smile. But that's not the only reason we cut in on conversations.
Before discussing how to interrupt politely and effectively, we need to explain why we interrupt. Some of the reasons may surprise you, while others may explain why you might feel annoyed at someone who constantly butts in.
I should know. I was dating a constant interrupter for a year before I couldn't stand it anymore and had to leave. He finished my sentences and usurped my stories pretty much 100% of the time. Yes, I tried talking to him about it, but he interrupted me before I could explain myself.
Since America is a melting pot, let's start with cultural differences.
Some cultures are high-interruption cultures. In Latin American, Middle-Eastern, Jewish, and even Mediterranean cultures, people like to talk over each other without considering it rude. In fact, it contributes to lively, dynamic exchanges and is seen as enthusiastic participation. Go figure.
I was reminded of this when I came back to Bulgaria. On multiple occasions, people would ask me about something, and when I started telling them, they'd butt in and talk over me, sometimes several of them simultaneously. Taken aback, I'd shut up, and the conversation would continue past me. My natural reaction was, "If you wanna know about something, wouldn't it better to listen?" But what do I know? I've lived in America for way too long, I guess.
I realized that people talk to connect, not always to exchange information, and they probably wondered why I stopped "participating." As far as I know, they may think I am all stuck up or something.
In medium-interruption cultures like France, interruptions here happen as part of an exchange of ideas, but generally, the French show respect by letting someone finish their argument.
The US, UK, and Canada fall under the low-interruption category. Particularly in formal settings, interrupting is seen as disrespectful. We emphasize turn-taking and allowing the speaker to finish their thoughts. However, casual conversations have some flexibility, especially in the US, and regional differences also play a role, with more relaxed conversational styles in certain parts of the US.
Imagine living in one of the very-low interruption cultures (Asian cultures, Scandinavian cultures, or indigenous cultures like the Native American or Aboriginal). I think I might like it…
In indigenous cultures, conversations tend to be slower-paced, with pauses used for reflection, and speaking out of turn is discouraged. Scandinavian cultures value calm, measured conversations, emphasizing not talking over others. There's a strong cultural norm around waiting for someone to finish before responding. East Asian cultures prioritize harmony and respect in conversations, with a focus on listening carefully and waiting for a pause before speaking. In Japan, for example, silence is often used to show thoughtfulness, and cutting someone off mid-sentence would be highly frowned upon.
Learning about cultural differences helps us not take things personally and not annoy others. We could easily learn and adapt to conversational styles in different cultures. The rest of the reasons, though, are a bit more challenging to deal with.
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