Harmful dynamics in modern relationships
And how to fix them
Happy Life Intelligence Wednesday 😊. Welcome new paid subscribers! I appreciate you. For everyone else on the fence, think of it as $8/month or $80/year of all the therapy you need, a few laughs, and some entertainment. I promise it's worth every penny. On Sunday, I'll start "What I learned this week" posts, sort of like a gratitude journal but for knowledge. I'll keep them short. Maybe not every Sunday, but most Sundays. Yes, these posts will be for paid subscribers only, too!
Singles want someone. Couples want someone or something else, just not the same old. Hence, the astonishing divorce rates and couples who can't stand each other but stay together anyway.
Couples start out with stars in their eyes and end up with thorns on their sides. OK, not every couple, but way too many of them. Did you know that 30-60% of all married individuals will engage in infidelity at some point during the marriage? Furthermore, 74% of men and 69% of women admitted that they would cheat if they knew for certain that they wouldn't get caught (source).mOMG! WTF!
None of this happens overnight. So, today, we explore some harmful dynamics occurring in relationships. Even though the focus is on intimate relationships, the same principles apply to work relationships, friendships, and relationships with other family members.
When I ask people why they need someone else in their lives, the answer is usually that they need someone to talk to, to do things with, to make a family, to grow, to have fun with. No one says, "So I can get laid regularly," but I know they think it. Basically, everyone wants a companion and a fun partner.
But when you get one, you focus on work, the project in the garage, the golf game, the kids, getting your nails done, cleaning the house, and ANYTHING BUT your person. The fun partner becomes a comfortable background, like your couch. You spend more hours of your day staring at a screen, sometimes two at the same time, than looking into your partner's face. Yeah, I get it. You know what they look like but don't know what's next on TikTok. Sure. And when you need help, just yell. No need for a "thank you" either.
So, let's spell out the issues and the fixes.