Bad news abounds and suck you in. Soon, you feel frustrated, powerless, angry, and discouraged. Next, you reach for another glass of wine, or someone to yell at. Nothing makes sense anymore, so why bother trying. If that’s how you feel, your misery spills out and affects others. Even the people who used to like you and look up to you. Clearly, becoming a frayed nerve on the verge of braking does not make your world a better place and is hazardous to your mental health.
One way to pull yourself out of the pit of angry despair is to question your reality. Your life experiences, your mood, your outcomes can all be shifted just by asking the right questions.
The number one question should always be “What is my Ultimate goal?” Ultimate, as in big-picture thinking. This devastating moment is still only a moment in time. Even if it lasts a year, two, or five. Your will outlive it. If you are smart. If you are prepared. If you keep your eyes on your ultimate goal.
With the answer in mind, ask yourself “What’s the worst problem I have right now?” and “What’s great about this problem?” Your personal life and circumstances may not be as big of a mess as the media wants you to believe. Every problem you have forces you to examine an aspect of your life in order to solve it. Thus, you have a chance to wrap your mindset in the silver lining that comes with the process.
Remember to ask, “What’s going well right now,” count your blessings and practice gratitude. Research shows that gratitude is the best and cheapest antidepressant.
“What strengths and skills do I have to help me through this time?” If you don’t know, ask people who know you and get ready to blush. Like all of us, you are a bag of mixed nuts and some of them are just what the times ordered to help you survive.
While busy with self-inventory, ask “What do I need right now?” and “Who can help me?” Sorting out the needs from the wants simplifies existence. Right now, you don’t need more complexity. You need clarity, direction, a to-do list to keep you busy and take your focus away from the TV, social media, and other unnecessary stressors.
While it may be difficult to plan too far ahead right now, you could figure out what is doable for the next two to four weeks, perhaps for the month. This forces you to prioritize your resources and figure out what matters most.
When uncertain, we all want answers on a platter. However, the answers are only as good as the questions asked. If you want meaningful answers, ask important and challenging questions. Keeping yourself together, functional, resourceful, and positive is your main job right now. For your own benefit and for the benefit of all who depend on you to show them the way.
I am here to help.
Valentina Petrova has been helping people with life, health, relationships, financial, career, professional, and business challenges since 2015. She has a Master’s in Psychology and is a certified Life Coach. You can reach her at val@valentinapetrovaconsulting.com (805)909-1401, and watch her at http://www.youtube.com/c/ValentinaPetrova