You know the person who takes everything personally and emotionally overreacts to the amazement and discomfort of everyone around. Also, the person who catastrophises, breaks down in tears, snaps, spirals after an email, or overanalyzes a text, or explodes in angry outbursts at minor inconveniences. The person who reacts first and asks questions later.
Yeah. That person. It might even be you sometimes. Or it could be you, triggered by certain circumstances and only by specific people, while in the rest of your life and relationships, you’re a model citizen—considerate, patient, observant, and respectful.
When Reactivity Runs the Show
In a Washington Post column this fall, a woman described living with a partner who took everything personally — every sigh, every glance, every silence. His emotional volatility made her tiptoe through her own home, apologizing for feelings she hadn’t even had yet, walking every minute through an emotional minefield.
At work, we see the same pattern. Fortune magazine recently reported a surge in “workplace incivility” — managers micromanaging, colleagues snapping, teams imploding over minor slights. Underneath it all: stress, fear, and unregulated emotion disguised as “urgency.”
And sometimes, they go viral. Northeastern University researchers have noted the rise of “public emotional breakdowns.” We see people losing control and throwing tantrums on camera, online, and in public places. What used to be private moments of overwhelm now become content. The emotional cost, personal and social, is high. We reward reactivity with clicks, and risk normalizing dysregulation as authenticity.
You might be surprised to hear that most people don’t feel their feelings. They act them out. Sometimes, we suppress them or drown in them, literally becoming the feelings. Most of the time, it’s because many don’t know any other way, or that they even have a choice in the matter.