What Traveling Taught Me About Life

A Free Post And A Fun Event

Back in 2020, when The Pandemic just hit, and we all got stranded at home, most people ate pizza, watched Netflix, and got fat on government dime. I looked at the entirety of my adult life and decided I should get a new one, and that it should include going places I’ve never been and doing it with my doggie.

It took four more years to pull the trigger. All the preparation and anticipation could not eliminate fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. Still, I went. 11 months later, I came back (for a while) a totally different person. I now think every adult stuck in a groove would benefit from quitting what they are doing in the middle of doing it and disappearing for a year, trying to live out of a suitcase, improvise, explore, and exist outside of their comfort zone. The experience was not just education and inspiration. It was therapy and recalibrating.

Here is a very valuable lesson I learned.

I control nothing but influence everything. If it sounds like chaos theory, that’s because we all live on the edge of chaos but pretend we are in control to make ourselves feel more secure.

For example, when Lulu and I headed to Malta, I had everything Lulu-related ready! However, the airline changed planes, scheduling a smaller aircraft. Meaning, she would most definitely not fit in the space under the seat in front of me.

Also, Donald Trump had just won the election, and pretty much all of Europe was pissed!

I showed up at the airline counter to get us checked in with the biggest smile on my face, ready to kiss whatever ass I need to kiss to make sure doggie goes in the cabin! I spotted a young, friendly guy and headed over. Instead, this frown-faced, middle-aged woman called me to her desk by making eye contact with me over her glasses. She looked underslept, underappreciated, and angry. I felt nervous because I was pretty sure my doggie carrier would not fit easily in the space in front of me. The last thing I needed was for this grumpy person to pull out a measuring tape and find out what I already knew.

I had no control over what she was going to say or do. At that moment, I decided that I would accept whatever outcome and that I wasn’t going to be mad at her for doing her job and probably hating Americans. None of it had anything to do with me. But I also quickly withdrew my US passport and handed her my Bulgarian one with an awkward, apologetic smile. I complimented her on her beautiful braid. I baby-talked to Lulu, “She’s a nice lady, Pookie, be nice.” And I asked her if she’s ever been to Malta.

I was able to get the resemblance of a smile out of her. She adjusted her glasses to look out the bottom half and started clicking away on her keyboard. She put us on a row of our own, called the plane, and told them to help me out. Didn’t weigh the dog bag. Didn’t measure it. She told me she’d never been to Malta.

The mistake we humans prefer to make is to push our weight around because we love the illusion of control. Americans are especially fond of feeling in control and having privileges and rights. I think most of us are pissed off at Donald Trump because we see an exaggerated, grotesque, overblown version of ourselves in him, and we hate him because we hate this about ourselves. Yet, we can’t give up our false sense of control. If anything, we’d prefer to have more.

We think that, as individuals, we are at the center of causality and outcomes in our lives. It’s hard not to when we all learn early on that if you work hard and do your best, you’ll have more of everything – more money, security, friends, stuff, self-respect, happiness, etc. Yet, we fail to acknowledge the role of other people in our daily experiences, presented opportunities, avoided mistakes, chance encounters, inspiration, etc. In fact, it is because of other people that we even exist. We didn’t will ourselves into a body with a mind. Two other people had unprotected sex, with or without love, with or without a plan, but they did, and here we are – our very arrival on this planet was out of our control.

If you think of control as an avalanche rolling thunderously down a mountain, influence is the force that made that snow detach and form a roaring danger. They say to keep quiet when crossing a snowy mountain because the sound itself could cause an avalanche.

What we most definitely have is influence, but we don’t appreciate it because we can’t draw a clear line between influence and outcome. It’s more of an improvised dance than a bird in the hand. But if we get good at dancing, we’ll have a lot more fun and more friends wherever we go.

Just like we can’t will depression away or drown the pain with alcohol, we can’t control how our relationships, careers, and kids transform over time. But we can influence them in a direction we would probably enjoy more than if we tried to vice them into shape.

I see the difference between control and influence in where we put the focus. When we choose to control, we focus on ourselves. We feel the existential need to achieve a particular outcome. We function in a “us/me vs. them/you” paradigm.

But if we choose to influence, we attune to the situation and the other person and feel for the natural softening, creative openings, and unconsidered possibilities. We essentially become co-creators of reality.

And here you have it, just one attitude reorientation lesson from 11 months of travel! But wait! There’s more!

Many of you have been interested in knowing how I pulled this travel adventure off. I am happy to share the details and LOTS of resources with you.

So, how about a show-and-tell date?

✈️🐾 Wanderlust with Paws: How I Traveled Europe with My Dog

🗓 Date: Sunday, May 18, 2025
🕓 Time: 4:00 PM Pacific / 7:00 PM Eastern
📍 Attend via Zoom OR In-Person (Los Osos, CA)

I’ll share:

• Planning the journey: finances, passports, airlines, pet logistics, destinations, etc.

• Housing hacks + budget real talk

• Transportation tips (airlines, buses, ferries — oh my!)

• Big wins and a few surprises along the way

• Personal recommendations and a compilation of resources you can use – I’ve done the research, so you don’t have to!

🎟 Registration:

· $25 Early Bird (first 72 hours only, now until Monday, May 5, at 5:00 pm!!!)

· $30 General Admission (after that, until noon on May 18)

· $35 At The Door (In-Person Only)

😊“AS a special thank-you to my paid subscribers —this one’s on me! Just reply to this post or email me, and I’ll send you the Zoom link/location info.” 😊

How to Register:

1. Send payment via to https://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/RW7A7P6YTAGVQ

2. Include your email in the Notes.

3. After payment, you’ll receive an email with the Zoom link and/or in-person address.

4. If you see me in person, you can give me cash or a check!!!

🌟 Online registration closes at 12:00 PM Pacific on Sunday, May 18.

Space is limited! 🐾🌎

Happy travels to you all. Hope to see you on the 18th or before :)
V.