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Bagholder's avatar

I enjoy the heavy dose of Psychology in your writing. After all, an understanding of human psychology is one of the keys to self improvement. Interesting to note, we agree on much - yet somehow you manage to see "denial" in others where I see "confirmation bias" in you. I'm sure you would say the same about me :-) Regardless, I enjoy your columns very much!! https://bagholder.substack.com/p/the-holy-grail-of-personal-growth?r=i0tye

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ric leczel's avatar

My sense of simpatico with you comes through each time I read your words. My research and post theme this week - "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" and here you are pointing to the founding documents...

stay tuned, will post this weekend

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Valentina Petrova's avatar

I'll read it!

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byMiha's avatar

Whatever floats the boat, right? We all need more self-compassion. Mindfulness is the key. Yes: who says? who decides?

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Gary Boivin's avatar

In May, 2014, responding to the Isla Vista mass murder, I wrote a post that was damning of the perpetrator. One of his apologists came onto my site and confronted me with elements of my language which, in his view, were proof of misogyny on my part. That word, at that time, was a severe trigger, and I wrote an equally scathing response-then blocked that writer. Afterward, being introspective to a fault, I began to consider my use of language-specifically overuse of the word "beautiful", with respect to women. Was I also being patronizing to those of the opposite sex? Was I treating women and girls differently than men and boys? That self-assessment has actually led to rooting out a lot of ingrained, deep-seated microbehaviours. The same is true of racial prejudice, as Robin D'Angelo points out in "White Fragility". End point: If any of us were born perfect, we'd not need education, or even socialization. I have come to appreciate my critics, for their reasonable pointers. Then again, who decides what is reasonable?

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Valentina Petrova's avatar

Thanks for the story. Yes, who decides? And sometimes we overthink things too.

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